BE THE CHANGE YOU WANT TO SEE IN YOUR LIFE

It has been almost 9 years since Paul and Imogen passed.  In many ways it has been the longest period of my life, so much to deal with, the grief and loss, the rebuilding of my family/myself, and the healing of a broken heart.

It has been a journey and one that continues as the years go by, but throughout this experience I have learnt so many valuable life lessons and have developed a much deeper appreciation for life.

One of the biggest life lessons has been to always build meaning in the connections we make with others.

You see loosing Paul and Imogen has made me realise how important it is to embrace our lives now, that life and happiness are not wrapped up in your possessions, these things are meaningless at the end of the day, and believe me they are not the things that you reflect on when you are confronted with a tragedy in your life.

It wasn't the things that brought us together and made us a family, it was in the way we interacted and the way we connected with each other every day that built a lifetime of beautiful memories and life time of happiness.

I have this beautiful photo of Imogen just before her death, it is a picture of her standing strong on top of a tower with her arms stretched out wide embracing life and everything it had to offer, it is a powerful photo to me, it inspires me.  Every morning as I get ready for the day, I take a moment to look at it and remind myself, how important the day is and that I have the opportunity to make the day count and to make it meaningful to me in some way.

For most of us our days are filled with people, people we love, our partners, family, friends, work colleges, acquaintances and even strangers who we never meet again.

I know for me through the loss of Paul and Imogen that it has become extremely important that I give the best part of me to everyone I encounter in my day.  I give them respect, my time, I take the time to listen, to value and learn from what they have to say, I also love to find opportunities for lightness and laughter.  It gives me great joy to look back at my day and to think of a special thing said with someone or a funny moment shared, it's simple, but sometimes the simple is all I need.

I am always grateful that I have people in my life each day and I also know through my life experience that however small and insignificant some of these conversations and moments are, they can build and create a lifetime of memories and experiences over time and that one day you may look back and cherish.  Look at how I feel about Paul and Imogen.  Even the seven weeks I spent nurturing, singing and chatting with my baby Isabella are so special to me and I hold so dear now 29 years later.

I also know that what we give of ourselves in these moments impacts and shapes others experiences, and for me it is so important  for others to walk away from a conversation or experience shared with me to feel special.

You have the choice to choose how you want to be in this world, and the life and happiness you want to create, don't get lost in the debt, the possession and the things that have no substance, value what you have in front of you, the day and the people who are present in your life now.

Make some memories together, go on an adventure, give them your time, your love and your words....Connect!

Paul always said to our kids and myself  'Be the change you want to see in the world', I love this Gandhi quote and find it so true and have embraced it as one of my life values, but I also want to extend it to 'Be the change that you want to see in your life'.

Shelley